Well, the decision has been made. Wheaton it is...for now. Well, we sent the acceptance form in along with the $300 deposit so I guess that makes it official. It's been a rocky road for Kyle, figuring out what he wants to do and where he wants to go.
The dilema was between two schools about as diametrically opposed as you could get. In this corner we have UMass Amherst. Weighing in at over 23,000 students, this behemoth is a city unto itself about 2 hours away in western Mass. The challenger, Wheaton College. Only 1500 students soaking wet, about an hour east. Ding! Round One
UMass is big. It has people from all over the world and probably just about any kind of club or activity is available. But, UMass is big. Although they deny it, the classes are large, some taught by Grad Asses whereasWheaton is small, tiny even. Maybe not quite the level of diversity and probably a bit upper crusty but we really got a sense that the instructors take an interest in the students and it certainly seems like they would know them by name.
UMass is cheap (comparatively). It's a state school and, by virtue of good test scores on the state tests (MCAS), Kyle got free tuition (but don't get all excited tuition is only a fraction of the cost). Call it $15K per year. Wheaton is not cheap. Wheaton is wicked not cheap. Wheaton is freakishly, expensively, not cheap. The list price is $43K per year, however, they countered the cough and puke factor by throwing in a $12,500 scholarship. Call it $30K per year - twice the price of UMass. They also awarded him a $4000 stipend that he can use during a summer to do "Academic Exploration" of some sort so that he doesn't have to get a job that he might otherwise. Cool.
So, those are the heavy hitters but like in many things, the small, intangible things seem to have a bigger impact than you would expect. Wheaton has a tennis team, UMass does not. Many of Kyles friends are going to UMass. Wheaton is closer than UMass. Wheaton has a very nice career center that arranges interships with local companies. He doesn't really know what he wants to do so can we justify spending that kind of money in that case? Wheaton just feels like a nice place. UMass half the cost of Wheaton (did I mention that already?). Sigh...
So it boiled down to the fact that Kyle liked Wheaton, wanted to be able to play tennis on a college team but was very concerned about the cost. Me, being the "frugal" person that I am, was very much counting the dollars involved in this decision. Even the "cheap" education at UMass was going to be $60,000 over four years. Wheaton will be over $120,000!!! Is it worth that kind of money? I was having a tough time swallowing that pill. I was pretty sure we could do it but I wasn't sure if I wanted to do it. I basically told Kyle that if he wanted to go to Wheaton, he'd have to cough up (borrow) the difference between UMass and Wheaton. At the time, it seemed like a decent compromise and he agreed (not really understanding the weight of a $60,000 debt of course). As he thought about it more and more however, he started to wobble. He said he was not really looking forward to college - any college - in general so he couldn't even get excited about deciding to go to Wheaton. He was worried about keeping his grades up enough to keep the scholarship. And he was worried about bankrupting us as well.
What to do?? I know, call Mom & Dad!!
Of course, they offered to donate practically the entire proceeds of the recent sale of their house and I'm sure would start work as Wal-Mart greeters to contribute to the funding of this endeavor if given a chance. As we were talking about ways that they could help out and how this compared to what they did for me when I was going to school, it hit me like a cold slap in the face; I've got to quit being so selfish! Here they were, having sacrificed anything needed to put me through school and now perfectly willing to sacrifice anything they now had to put my son through school and I'm whining about how much this is going to cost me! Man - suck it up!
When I think about what a crapshoot it is raising kids and how they could easily be thankless, rotten thugs but are instead wonderful, fabulous people, I'm embarrassed to have even hesitated. That kid has been nothing but a joy and I should be pushing people out of the way to pay for his education. Thank you M & D for indirectly slapping some sense into me.
So we had a big discussion on Wheaton and the merits and the fact that I should not have put the burden of the finances on him (or at least not quite as much) and basically tried to make it OK for him to want to go there. That, and the fact that Deb was practically bursting trying to get him to go to Wheaton, and the fact that the tennis coach said that there was room on the roster for him, led to him giving the thumbs up for Wheaton.
All in all, I'm pretty comfortable [must...keep...typing] with the decision. I'm sure [fight...it] we'll be able to [p..a..y] pay [f..o..r] for [t..h..i..s] this.
I wonder if I can sell a dog on eBay...
